No one ever really knows why someone takes their own life. Suicide is a mystery, a declaration, a way of no longer having to decide. It always, inevitably leaves questions. Especially when the lost person writes that she loves everyone and is at piece with her decision. Just as Theresa Duncan had.
I am certainly no expert, nor do I have any background or study in the psychology of suicides, but when someone as talented and gifted and beautiful as Theresa Duncan and her lover of twelve years, Jeremy Blake, take their own lives to the suprise of everyone around them I tend to have my own theories–such as what were the drugs-in-use policies for them? What were they taking? Prescriptives? Recreational? Liquor intake? How much, and at what regularity.? It can add up.
I don’t know what Theresa and Jeremy partied with. There were hints on her blog of a L.A. Lunar Society, whose existence is questionable (although she did give an address on the blog spot), which may in theory have been their own drugs-in-use meeting. She does mention in the meeting “minutes” what she did in the library: “a couple bowls of California chronic” and “polished off half a bottle of XO cognac. Or so.”
If you check her out you find enough paranoia stories to set your brain a-mush. You wonder at just how messed up she really could have been. But at the same time some of the stories she tells have factual basis, and the “theories” she hinted at on her site aren’t exactly fiction (Monarch Project and Garden Plot for example). The writing of these beliefs, along with her attacks of the Scientology Church, could have undoubtedly gotten her red-flagged by the government. Whether or not they were being harrassed as they claimed, we may never know. Whether or not her influence or that of Blake’s could have affected anyone we’ll never know either.
There is so much out there on this internet. We are free to explore, discover and watch, like fly- on-the-wall voyeurs with no accountability what-so-ever. But are we truly free to write whatever we want? Don’t kid yourself my fellow bloggers. Maybe you too have been “red-flagged.” We at the Continuum seek to start The Secret Holy Supposedly Paranoid-Conspiracy Society. We hope to get to the bottom of this and so much more. It is a drug-free society, however.