Distorted Sexuality and Winking Etiquette

“I just read a blog post about why sending someone a “wink” on a dating Web site is stupid. This seemed like a reasonable argument to make. But then the blog writer went on to say that in real life, it is “totally unacceptable” to wink. The guy said that if you wink at a stranger in a bar, the stranger would call the police. Is that true? Or is it sometimes OK to wink (in real life)? Should I save it for specific situations? (Which ones?) Georgia

You should believe only half of what you read on the Internet. To my knowledge, winking is neither illegal nor actionable in any county that permits the sale of alcoholic beverages. (I haven’t surveyed the rest.) Like the eye-roll, the wink is a gesture of complicity. Between friends, it means you share a secret. Between strangers, it means you wish you had a secret to share. You shouldyou must!wink whenever the spirit moves you.”

Personally I’ve always found a wink quite alluring, and not really a sexual overture, but just a little indication that the person who sent the wink is on the same page, or shares in your mindset.  Calling the police when winked at?  The person doing the calling would have to be mentally unstable I’d say, just a bit too sensitive, or simply in need of more attention.  Here, Here! I’m a believer in the wink!  Any winking thoughts?

Link: Distorted Sexuality,Winking Etiquette -The Paris Review

Image: Winking Girl by Camilladerrico


4 Responses to “Distorted Sexuality and Winking Etiquette”

  1. If you are on a dating site then you will get alot of smiley faces, suprised faces etc, what makes the winky face any different? It is hrad to communicate feelings over the net, what do people expect?


  2. Ideally I like your version of public winking.


  3. Brits will likely be more capable of responding to what might be an old expression,
    Rod Stewart used is as a album title:
    “A wink is as good as a smile to a blind horse”
    hmm, I suspect wiseguy naughtiness…


  4. I agree with you that winking is great!
    To me it is a sign of someone good-natured. I am a friendly person and welcome opportunities to chat with complete strangers. I’ve been winked at by some people and never take it negatively… to be fair though, you never really know what people’s intentions.
    I think people in general where I come from (a large friendly Mexican border city), see it as an acceptable gesture. Someone’s interpretation of it would really differ depending on where they come from. For example I think someone from a metropolis-type city in the north, where people are normally more reserved, would find a wink strictly reserved for close company.

    Great blog! 😉


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